Random Covenant Crossovers



Thomas Covenant vs. Alfred (The Hound and the Falcon)

(Right accross the street from the Bad Guy Convention, the International Convention of Fantasy and Scifi Protangonists and Heros Convention is being held.)

(Covenant has come back to his table and has his lepers only sign up again. Alfred walks over to him.)
Alfred: "Hello. My name is Alfred Akeastas. How are you?" Alfred says in his usual pleasant manner.
Covenant: "Hellfire! They just won't leave me alone!"
Alfred: "Who?"
Covenant: "That kid, Ender."
Alfred: "Ah, him. Well, you need not worry about him anymore. (laughs a little)
Covenant: "What in the hell are you talking about?"
Alfred: "Well, I've sent him to Jurassic Park. I can do that, ya know."
Covenant: (stares at Alfred) "Are you by any chance the Creator?"
Alfred: (gasps) "That's blasphemy! I'm of a good mind to hand you over to God's Hounds!"
Covenant: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Alfred: "Huh? That usually scares the hell out of anyone."
Covenant: "Are you going to answer my question, or not?"
Alfred: (thinks for a moment) "No. But I've been considered an angel and I've been named a Saint, if that helps. And my people are sometimes refered to as elves."
Covenant: (sarcasticly) "As in the Lord of the Rings Elves?"
Alfred: "Umm, no."
Covenant: "What from then?"
Alfred: "Uh... Anglia, old Rome, other places that you people call crumbling ruins."
Covenant: "Dude, how old are you???"
Alfred: "I lost count at 3,000 years."
Covenant: "Bannor, is that you? Shouldn't you be over at the Sidekicks Convention?"
Alfred: "Why are you calling me a banner?"
Covenant: "No, not a banner. B-A-N-N-O-R. He's one of my friends."
Alfred: "His parents must have had mental problems, to have named him that."
Covenant: "Probably."
Alfred: (notices Covenant's halfhand) "Err, what happen there?"
Covenant: "I got leprosy. Duh. Haven't you read my books?"
Alfred: "Umm...." (thinks up an excuse) "I thought the covers looked weird."
Covenant: "Yeah, that's Stephen Donaldson's fault. Or the publisher's. Take your pick."
Alfred: "Um, okay?"
Covenant: "Will you please leave now?"
Alfred: "Fine!" (stands up and walks away, muttering to himself) "Weird damn leper, he needs to take that sign down. That's what makes people bother him...." (among other things)
Covenant: (takes sign down, and people stop bothering him) "Well, looks like the elf was right. Wonder if he can make Linden shut up about me being dead....." (sits there, thinking of the endless possibilities)

Umm... The End?

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