Anti-Pants Coalition

Welcome to the home page of the Anti-Pants Coalition. We are a group that formed to combat the evil that plauges men and women all over the country...pants.

This is the dawning of a new age for the Coalition. Based on suggestions from the general public, we have reformed our mission statement to overcome some errors present in the original. Originally we acknowledged a utilitarian function of pants, but now we know that we fell victim to brainwashing by the pro-pants lobbyists, for which we apologize. There is no function served by pants that is not duplicated by underwear. Underwear covers the private parts as the rules of society dictate, and covering them a second time with pants is ridiculous and inefficient. You may think that pants are necessary for the colder months of the year, but have you ever heard of such a thing as "long underwear" or "indoor heating?" Problem solved. The subject of much debate, however, is fat people wearing pants. The exact details of this problem are still being considered, so in the mean time fat people are still requested to wear pants.

Carlos "I «heart» pants" Perez, once considered the greatest enemy of our cause, has fallen. He has said, and I quote, "you know what...screw pants." While this has been a great victory for our cause, we can't let our guard down. If anything, we need to reform and refocus our efforts on our next opponent: Dockers.

"Clearly, you've made all the arguments against wearing pants!" 
                         - Joel

The Pantless Awards

It's come to my attention that some of you are still not in support of our cause, so I have gathered more evidence:


If you don't wear pants you get super powers, guaranteed.(Guarantee is not guaranteed)


Even science is in support of our cause. This picture was originally titled "DNA and man with no pants"


While these Super Heroes are only protesting one particular brand of pants, they are still helping our cause. Drop your pants today and join this exclusive group!!!


The man in back supports our cause bravely and openly, and he is getting women because of it! The (pantsed)man in front must be homosexual, because he refuses to acknowledge the fact that he would get women if only he would only drop his pants.


Band people around the nation know the secret to life lies in pantslessness. Also, isn't this picture eerily familiar?


Ok, this one's just funny.


It's because of people like this that pants need to be controlled. If you ever see anyone wearing an abomination of this sort, you can help our organization in one of several ways:
1) Quickly douse the demon pants in lighter fluid and set them on fire(law enforcement officials tend to frown on this)
2) Knock the offender unconscious with a heavy, blunt object to the back of the head. While they are slumped on the ground, take and shred their pants.
3) This is probably the most effective action you could take. Simply kill the pants-wearing fool on the spot. Our psychological profiling of "pantsers," as we call them, reveals that once they've been turned on to the habit of awful pants, they tend to repeat it, and buy even more offensive pants.


Yet another example of pants whose wearer needs to be killed.


This is so abominable that I'm not going to waste my time or yours saying anything more about it.


Ok...one of the few benefits of pants is that they provide protection from the cold, true...but this is taking it way too far. This man should have the 6 inches of padding removed from his pants, then be kicked in the crotch.


One of the main reasons we are against pants is the anal retentive people who insist of having their pants folded and creased in this manner. Enough is enough. Fight fire with fire, and drown anyone you see wearing pants like these in a vat of corn starch.


Hmmm...you just lost 174 pounds and 22 inches in your waist...I DON'T CARE!!!

This just in! Pants used to torture cats!

That's it for now...more will follow as we recruit more members. To join, or send money, talk to Scott or Danielle.

You can VIEW the guestbook if you're wearing pants,

But you can only SIGN it if you're not wearing pants (or at least have the desire to be pantsless).